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Curious about my new feelings, I did some research online. Another showed a girl on the floor with a man standing over her asking who she belonged to. He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own.

Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone. " Almost a year after our first date, Doug came to my house to try BDSM.

And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted.He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit.On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me.He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it." Or he'd forward articles or videos of BDSM research he'd done. In a D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship, you have to trust each other—emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess.While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," will let him. What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? And just like that, our long-distance, extramarital D/s relationship began.

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