Songs about best friends dating your ex
The person they're dating now is not necessarily smarter, more attractive, or kinder than you. Comparing yourself to your ex's new partner, whether to wonder if they're better than you or to wonder if they're similar to you, will lead you down the wrong line of reasoning.The fact that you broke up wasn't a failure on your part; things just didn't work out, and they might not work out with this new person either. People don't choose people based on checklists; each person will appeal to someone for a different reason. Your ex's new significant other is not your replacement.Still, what I found most interesting is when I would go to friends and ask for advice on the issue and some people would say to me, "Your ex has a right to make a move on your best friend. A friend once told me his test of whether he's over an ex is whether it would bother him if they were dating someone else.Discomfort with an ex publicly pairing up again is also acknowledged in pop culture; after Marnie breaks up with Charlie on , she obsesses over the other woman she sees in his Facebook photos."Most people don't want to feel expendable, rejected, or out of control," sex and relationships therapist Cathy Beaton tells Bustle.Beaton would advise people who are upset when their exes move on: "Put this person in your past where he belongs, think of what you've learned from the experience, and get busy finding another partner who appreciates you."Your ex did not get an upgrade.
A lot of my friends have confessed they've felt the same way, especially when they're forced to find out through social media.
Plus, when I broke up with him, he said he refused to move on and planned to marry me — a promise he obviously couldn't keep, but it planted in the back of my mind the assumption that if I ever had a change of heart, he would be there.
With the second (non) ex, I realized there was an ounce of hope lingering in me that maybe we would reunite one day, and seeing that he was no longer available crushed it.
Basically, I encouraged my gay BFF to hang with an ex of mine because why not? The second I set it up though, I regretted it, because I started thinking about what would happen if they hit it off and crushed on each other. If you're ever feeling temptation island, I advise you to think about how YOU would feel if your ex and BFF hooked up.
Even though I no longer had feelings for my ex, that didn't mean I would want him shacking up with my best friend! Luckily, they didn't hook up, but I felt like my ex would have if given the opportunity. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one rule when it comes to friends dating exes and that is: YOU CAN' T DO IT. If that doesn't get your dick limp, I don't know what will.