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I asked her one question, and the response I received was pure gold. When you’ve got a bunch of emails to choose from, it’s pretty hard to select one that, in the one moment it has to advertise, offers only the word “(none)”. So, generally I’ll go back and find their original message, reread their new message, look at their profile, and decide whether to respond. I actually think it’s not a bad idea to send two emails to everyone you write, if you feel like spending that sort of time on Internet dating, and don’t mind veering dangerous close to serial killer zone.You may think this applies only to men looking for women, or folks trying to attract someone a bit out of their league – but that isn’t so. Most captivating subject line in that assortment goes to…the guy who wrote “86”, I guess? I’ve just gone from spending 10-30 seconds on your email and probably not even looking at your profile to a few minutes thinking about you. But you gotta handle the second email just right (for suggestions, follow the link). A third email is a little too Bates Motel for Olivia’s tastes.You’ve found a dating site you want to use, and you’ve created a profile, complete with your most flattering photos.The next stage is either to sit and wait to be contacted by a potential date, or to look through the site and proactively start sending messages to potential dates yourself.Even if a guy is attractive, I still won’t respond to these messages.Read the profile, say something specific, and make a lasting impression But you guys knew that, right? That last point however brings us to perhaps Olivia’s most interesting suggestion, and one I didn’t expect.
The better the email is, the less important appearance becomes.To elucidate her point, Olivia sent me a screengrab of her inbox. I have had some guys seriously send multiple messages with no responses.I don’t know what they’re thinking, but clearly they can’t take a hint.Further, exactly how much should you say about yourself in this message?The Common-Sense Approach Here are three tips that may increase your chances of a reply to your first contact message: What the Research Says A study conducted by Schöndienst and Dang-Xuan (2011) examined which style of first contact message was most likely to receive a reply.