Dating someone who is not your type

We were spending a lot of one-on-one time; not solo dates but frequent sessions of just 20 min. I was really starting to develop feelings for him and at this point I knew I was attracted to him but I was still dumb and worried that other people didn't find him attractive. That's not to say I wasn't attracted to them at first, only that as I get to know someone better emotionally, somehow they became more physically attractive with time too. I actually do much better dating people who were first my friends and I got to know (and become attracted to) slowly over time than people I initiate communication with because of a physical attraction. I traditionally am friends with someone and don't particularly find them attractive and then become more attracted to them as the friendship grows.As we got to know each other more and more and I let myself be more vulnerable around him I just fell in love. While my current boyfriend (and hopefully future husband) was not a close friend first (I met him online), his attractiveness has certainly skyrocketed as we have gotten closer.You learn about yourself by dating people who are sometimes extremely different from you. You're confident, secure in yourself, and are probably the sort of person who has an answer when someone asks where you see yourself in five years. Just remember that sometimes expectations can change, and that's fine and good.

He definitely wasn’t someone I found attractive, but then one day he walked into class late and something weird happened: I realized I was actually really into him after all. He looked sure of himself and comfortable in his skin. This guy was definitely not my type, and yet there was just some X-factor about him that was quite alluring. It’s weird how the same guy didn’t interest me before, but once I got to know him, it’s like he completely changed physically.

It caught my attention and made him so much more attractive than I’d previously thought. Straying from guys who were my usual type was a great experience because it showed me there were other guys out there who might not check all my boxes but were intriguing nonetheless. Yes, he had an aura, but his appeal was about so much more than that. He was intelligent, we could chat about anything for hours, he was funny as hell, and he was a really down-to-earth guy. It’s really about the energy someone brings to the table and the personality they have. Obviously he didn’t and it was my perception of him that changed, but it’s similar to how a really hot guy can start to look ugly if he has a nasty personality. It was refreshing to want someone who wasn’t attractive.

I’d enjoyed his company for months, so this built my interest over time. Once I felt that spark of attraction, he became good on paper and appealing in real life too. I went from being cool with seeing him whenever to wanting to spend more and more time with him. I’d previously prized good looks in a man, but this guy showed me that there’s so much more to look for.

Wow, there are a few people here who say that they weren't very attracted to their partner at first, but eventually became "intoxicatingly" or "uncontrollably" attracted to them. I wasn't attracted to her, mostly because I wasn't really looking for somebody at the time and I saw her as a coworker first.

After many months and hanging out with her among other people though, things began to click and we dated/were together for close to two years. I'm working on a book about modern romance and wanted to reach out to the reddit community to share their experiences.

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