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Several reported that though they made an effort to be functional in their jobs, much time was spent thinking about their spouse.
However, they reported that being at work was better than being at home.
Other responses were the inability to think or talk about the deceased wife and to avoid every family event reproducing memories of deceased wife.
They became involved in family work, spent more time with children individually and in a group, and performed housework, home remodeling, meal preparation, and child care for dependent children.
One widower spent time with his own siblings and visiting his children. Another widower noted that it is difficult to talk to male friends about the grief experience.
These groups overlapped in that widowers may have used more than one method to combat loneliness.
One widower noted that men are not "naturally chatty" and do not ask for help easily.
He was also aware that people have lives of their own and cannot always be as supportive as they wish because of their own time and financial and emotional commitments. Widowers with dependent children suggested it would have been helpful to have someone else talk to their children about their mother's death and normal stages of growing up, as their mother would have done.