Being too accommodating in a relationship
relation that just started ("officially" together one week ago), I really feel that I would like to be with her every single possible second that I have free from obligations, and have said yes to anything resembling together time. She just realized that she wanted you for the original moment but that moment is passed.
She wants her "space" so this week we met only once for dinner, and in two occasions at a couple of get together with friends but in this later case during the party she did not even speak to me as she does not want to "lose" the other friendsthis did no happen before... yesterday I actually pushed her about this ( involuntarily i guess, just asking explanations, not trying to change her mind) she got very angry and left, I sent her a very needy message that I regret and the answer I got was that I was trying to make her feel guilty and that I cannot accept a 'no' as an answer.so, opinions? Not really sure of what she wants: You have the qualities she finds attractive, but maybe it's the wrong time or place for the situation.
Any conflict consists of at least 2 parties after all. A few years back, I had a friendship which started to deteriorate and I really tried to accommodate her. I know enough about the psyche to know that to be truthful is very difficult, especially with yourself; unconscious complexes driving us to believe in a certain point of view often obscure any attempt at realising the “truth”.
But, It really isn’t that easy to turn the other cheek. But eventually it was so untenable that when I finally did end the relationship, my feelings were so hurt that it took me months to get over it. If it is truthful and helpful, wait for the right time. (being wise has been a lifelong goal for me :-))These wise words have a goal and that is to be truthful and helpful at all times towards others. And then there is the problem of reaching deep down inside and finding the root of your anger or dissatisfaction.
She was with someone that was pretty controlling and didn't let her hang out with friends.
She's afraid of that happening again so she's trying to stop it.
There's a big difference between imagining what's hot, and actually getting what's hot.
It's quite possible that she's not capable of making you happy -- but because you imagined it, there's DEFINITELY someone else out there who's WAY cuter!
People are generally not aware of what they say or how they behave.
Have I added value to this person’s life in any way?
Did I do and say what was needed to be said and done in order to help them on their path?
And perhaps it is true, that they are selfish, but the real problem is not being addressed because it is buried deep in your soul.
Perhaps the underlying problem is that you don’t actually trust them.